It's Friday. Sex?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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