My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I want to fling myself into the sun
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
