fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
