end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
