Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
