She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
