i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
