Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
