She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
