evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
