i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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