Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
