put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
