I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
