Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
