There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Church boner. Awkwardddd
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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