hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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