At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
