I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
