mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
