he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
