Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky š
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Iād clean the kitchen before making food. Mark ārang in the New Yearā with some rando in there last night
Randomize
