apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
