I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize