yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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