just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
