My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
