Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
It's just like the Real World with babies
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
