I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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