Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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