You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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