Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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