...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
