sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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