it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
i think i just lost a toe
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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