Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
