I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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