dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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