So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
