stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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