I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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