I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize
