i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
