so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
