Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize