do herpes really smell.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
