My balls are so social today.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
