Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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