thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i think i scared a bird with my dick
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
