I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
