Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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