i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
