just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
