I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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