You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
