everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize