Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
