This girl is more easily done than said...
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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