Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
