am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
