I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
