Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize
