You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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