then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
