the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
