I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
