My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
