her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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