i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I need a beard to bite.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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