well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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