Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
