i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You are a genius and a whore.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
