just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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