If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I touched a dick in church today
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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