I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
