dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
No subtext here. People are naked.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
