I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
