so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
