she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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