People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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