just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
